The Five Things Every Woman Quietly Needs
Dear One,
Not long ago I opened the door to this little space, and you walked in. Thank you for that. This week I want to give you something to hold onto, because it is the thing everything else here will grow from.
Over twenty-five years of this work, I have come to believe that underneath almost every hurt a woman feels in her relationship, there is a need that has gone unmet and unnamed. Not a flaw. Not too much. A real and ordinary human need.
There are five of them. I call them the 5 Sovereign Relationship Needs, and once you can see them, a lot of what has felt confusing starts to make a quiet kind of sense.
Love and Belonging. The need to feel wanted and chosen, not just useful.
Freedom. The need to be yourself inside the relationship, not a smaller version of you.
Fun. The need for lightness and play, the part of you that first fell in love.
Inner Power. The need to feel that your voice counts, that you have a say.
Safety and Survival. The need to feel emotionally safe, that you can bring the real thing and not be left for it.
You might already recognize one of these as you read. That one is worth listening to.
We will spend a lot of time together with these five needs, gently, one at a time. For now I only want you to know they exist, and that yours are real.
If you would like to see which of the five is loudest for you right now, the quiz is a quiet few minutes and a soft place to start. It is at needs.drdarhawks.com whenever you are ready. No rush. It will be there.
You are not alone in this.
Dr. Dar